Sunflowers

Growing up my mom would always say that the sunflowers would bloom when it was time to head back to school. Every summer I would dread the sight of the bright yellow flowers and once the first one blossomed I would begin to fear. Sunflowers meant school and school meant being locked inside all day followed by freezing winters.

This year it seems the sunflowers have bloomed earlier than usual and I am reminded that I will be starting school again soon.

The thought is exciting and absolutely terrifying. I am excited to meet new people and have the experience of going to college, but at the same time I am scared stiff of what may lie in my future. I will be moving for the first time in my life, and sharing a room with someone I have only stalked on Facebook. I will have more responsibility and more freedom, but I can no longer use my mother as a scapegoat. It just doesn't seem convincing for a college student living away from home to sat "Sorry, my mom said I'm not allowed to hang out with you. I have to stay and clean my room tonight."

I am nervous, yes, but the experiences are defiantly exciting. I just need to put my man pants on and say no to people.

Blessed

You know those moments when you wake up and shower and in hindsight realize you could have slept for at least another half hour? Yeah that was me this morning.

I woke up at 7:30 like I usually do on Sundays and showered only to remember that I work today. No church for me. I was kind of bummed. Add that to the fact that I am home working while my mom and brothers are on vacation made me a little more than bummed.

I am grateful that I paused for a moment during my pity party to look outside. The sun had risen, our horses were eating peacefully, and there was just kind of a small whisper in the back of my mind saying: "You're going to miss this in about a month."

I sighed knowing the voice was right. In three weeks I am set to move down to college. Needless to say, I am scared. However, I know that I will always have a home here with loving parents and my little brothers (even though they aren't so little anymore).

The Lord has a plan for me, I just need to have the faith to do what I need to.